137. The Consortium - xix. Occupant Sin: Revelations

Page Notes

Episode published on Friday 1st of March, 2019.

You might not think that calling someone "small-time" is such a great diss, but if it's good enough for Leon S. Kennedy then it's good enough for me! Coincidentally, this episode basically exists to justify the ten years this comic was stuck in Resident Evil 4.

Tagged: The Captain, D.P. Slymme, Dr. Ivanovich Gregori Romani Gyrode, Dr. Ralph Smiffington III, Jim 'Dirty Deeds' Moran, Location - Consortium Meeting Warehouse, Location - Spain, Lord Almond Burdener, Mara Kyler, Max Valerion, Puis Lera, Lord Burdener's scientist

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Comments

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Transcript

Title - 137: "The Consortium"
Subtitle - xix. "Occupant Sin: Revelations"

(Pain and Mara are still lying across the desk, having a cuddle. Mara looks content, Pain watching her.)

Pain: There really is something I wanted to talk to you about...
Mara: Oh?

(As Pain asks his next question, Mara begins to pull away. She's pouting and gets annoyed at Pain's question.)

Pain: How much did you know about Burdener?
Mara: Why would I know anything about him? I told you-

(Pain holds on to her and begins kissing her shoulder, Mara's annoyed expression softening at the contact.)

Pain: Mara...
Mara: ...No games?
Pain: No games.
Mara: Fine.

(Mara imagines Lord Almond Burdener standing on a hill overlooking Pubelo village and its bell tower, his arms outstretched in a grand gesture.)

Mara: There's not much to tell. He was a religious zealot who came into a lot of money.
Pain: Was he working for anyone?

(Mara's daydream changes to Burdener and his scientist standing in a darkened room shaking hands. A shadowy figure stands beside them, clasping their shoulders. One of his eyes glows ominously in the dark.)

Mara: Not that I know of. A third party put him in contact with a scientist who could study and replicate the Fluga sample, but as far as I know Burdener was a free agent.

(Pain sits up,  startling Mara, his back to her as he swings his legs over the side of the desk. He rubs his face with one hand.)

Pain: Hmm.
Mara: Something playing on your mind?

(Mara hugs him, Pain lowering his hand so they can make eye contact. Mara looks worried about Pain. Pain looks tired suddenly.)

Mara: Talk to me.

(Pain begins imagining the long white brightly-lit corridor he had been dreaming about at the beginning of the story. Pain remembers walking down it.)

Pain: ...I've been having that dream again...
Mara: The one with the nearly endless corridor of horrors?

(Pain passes a darkened window, Burdener visible sitting in a padded cell on the other side of the glass, hunched forward.)

Pain: That's the one. Only this time, Burderner had a cell.

(In the dream Burdener suddenly transforms into the hideous monster he eventually became and rams the glass, startling Pain.)

SFX (glass slam): WHAM!
Burdener: Don't you know who I am?! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I WORK FOR?!

(Back to reality. Mara's still hugging Pain from behind, looking worried. Pain avoids her gaze.)

Mara: He was just saying that to scare you off.
Pain: Maybe.

(Pain stands up and begins adjusting his trousers. Mara leans forward across the desk.)

Pain: I nearly reached the end of the corridor last night...
Mara: Is that a good thing?

(Pain remembers that the corridor's exit had a logo etched into it: an Omega symbol with a stylised 7 running through it. He narrows his eyes.)

Pain: I don't know...

(Pain begins rubbing the back of his neck, looking awkward. Behind him, Mara sits up and begins pulling her tights back up. She's still watching him closely.)

Pain: I don't suppose you fancy swinging by Detulux tonight?
Mara: In need of a dream catcher?

(Mara approaches Pain, kissing his cheek as he turns his head to look at her. He smiles earnestly with a hint of relief in his expression.)

Pain: Couldn't hurt!
Mara: Crazed Spaniards couldn't keep me away.

Narrator: Ten minutes later...

(The two lovers leave the office they have been occupying fully dressed, Mara closing the door behind them as Pain is still being cuddly with her. They share a kiss. They've cleaned themselves up a bit, Pain having straightened his hair and rubbed off most of the lipstick that had smeared onto his face. His tie is stuffed into his pocket. Mara is no longer wearing lipstick. She opens an eye as she senses someone approaching. Ralph and Gyrode are being manhandled towards them by Consortium security. They are both comically blackened and singed with small flames dancing on their hairs here and there. Gyrode is missing his eyebrows; tears are running down his cheeks.)

Gyrode: And they'd just grown back as well!

(Mara points at Ralph as the escort train approaches. Pain still has an arm around Mara as he and Ralph make eye contact.)

Mara: What's going on here?
Security Guard: These two have just vandalised the men's room with some kind of potent incendiary device. Blew one of the toilets to smithereens.

(Pain leans forward, a smug expression on his face, and speaks directly to Ralph. Ralph's anger increases.)

Pain: That sounds about right.

(Pain leans in further. Ralph gets angrier, a scowl on his face.)

Pain: This one's strictly small-time. Didn't know he was that petty though!

(Ralph loses it, struggling to break free of the grip of the guards carrying him in an ill-fated attempt to get to Pain. Pain just looks amused.)

Ralph: I'm going to get you! I'll make you pay for this humiliation! This is one doctor who does make house calls! You haven't heard the last of Dr. Ralph Smiffington the Third!

(The security guards carry Ralph off down the corridor.)

Gyrode: I really can't take you anywhere, can I?
Ralph: Oh do shut up!

(Mara glances at Pain, brows furrowed. Pain waves her concerns away, one arm still around her.)

Mara: You really shouldn't wind him up. He's quite dangerous when he wants to be.
Pain: Pshh.

(The last remaining security guard in the corridor begins escorting Gyrode past the couple.)

Security Guard: Unfortunately, Ms. Kyler, we suspect that Mr. Daniel Bleu was caught in the blast.

(The couple watch them leave. Pain appears unimpressed, as does Mara.)

Pain: And nothing of value was lost.
Mara: I don't know if Mr. Grünveldt will feel the same way.
Pain: I doubt Mr. Grünveldt will even know who Mr. Bleu was. He privatised water, Mara.

(Pain begins to wind himself up, Mara merely rolls her eyes.)

Pain: It's not even a crime! It's just a way to be a try-hard at being a complete dickwad.

(Captain walks around the corner at the end of the corridor. Pain and Mara look up at him as he approaches them.)

Captain: Did I miss anything? There was some sorta 'splosion.

(Pain starts nuzzling against Mara, pulling her closer and making her laugh.)

Pain: You're damn right there was!
Mara: Haha!

(The Captain is clearly unimpressed by this euphamism.)

Captain: Well that's way more information than I needed.

(Pain, Mara and the Captain head back to the central atrium. All of the guests are mingling again in small groups around the room. Pain and Mara are still being affectionate towards one another as they walk, both in very good moods. Captain seems anxious when Pain makes his next declaration.)

Pain: We're back in, Captain.
Captain: But what about the discounts?

(The Captain appears concerned by what his boss is saying.)

Pain: As I understand it, we can offer half off everything, right?
Captain: But-

(As Pain and Mara begin to laugh as Pain explains his plan, the Captain perks up.)

Pain: -But there's nothing to stop us doubling our prices the week before, is there?
Captain: You're the boss, Boss.

(Pain gives Mara another kiss, this time a light peck on the forehead. The Captain gets annoyed again.)

Pain: Mara's coming back with us, too.
Captain: Oh hooray. First the lawyer shows up and now the accountant's making an appearance.

(Mara's eyes snap open, her good mood immediately evaporating.)

Mara: Wait, the lawyer? He turned up?

(Pain avoids her gaze, nervously scratching his head as he tried thinking of what to say. Mara is suspicious and frowns skeptically.)

Pain: Oh. We, er, had a little run-in with Interpol last week.

(The Captain eagerly interupts, grinning.)

Captain: Yeah, Slymme turned up and said a load of stuff and then presented the Boss with a bill that he signed there and then.

(Pain slaps him on the back of the head, angry.)

Captain: Ow!
Pain: Idiot! You weren't supposed to tell her that!

(Mara imagines Pain's lawyer D.P. Slymme as a dragon hoarding gold, complete with a little goblin version of his sidekick Jim Moran sat on his tail drinking a glass of what appears to be milk.)

Dragon Slymme: Now, about those expenses...

(She snaps out of it, waving the dream away.)

Mara: I'll sort it out when we get back. He knows better than to put paperwork in front of you before I've seen it!

(Mara stands in front of Pain and prods him in the forehead as she speaks. Pain looks guilty.)

Mara: But you should know better too!
Pain: Yes, Mara. Sorry, Mara. Won't do it again, Mara.