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Dr. Ralph Smiffington III
| Occupation: | Mad Scientist, "International Supercriminal" |
| Age: | Late 40's |
| Nationality: | British (English) |
| Weapon of choice: | SCIENCE! Also, a double-barrelled .45 pistol |
| Fighting style: | MORE SCIENCE! |
| Likes: | Tea, maniacal laughter, being evil, his "niece" Kapitolina Gyrode, SCIENCE! |
| Dislikes: | Everyone, everything |
| Interesting fact: | His "evil" eye was due to generational exposure to the highly unstable element Randomonia. It is completely calcified but he can see perfectly out of it. It spins wildly whenever he gets angry |
| Image: | Security footage from a private science facility shortly before some of their rarer elmental materials and chemicals were stolen |
Mad scientist and self-professed "International Supercriminal", Doctor Ralph Smiffington III aims to one day conquer the planet and install himself as World Emperor. His lofty goals are often scuppered by his lack of foresight, and very often his schemes are foiled either by his own shoddy workmanship or some oversight in the plan.
His appearance, that of a short balding ginger hunchback with a weird eye and a pink fez, is disarming and often leads people to underestimate him. This is a dangerous thing to do as Ralph has a genuine talent for underhandedness and is a mean, bitter person through-and-through.
Ralph spends his time working on various evil schemes, regularly holding cities and countries hostage with his "latest, greatest" invention. While world domination is the end goal, Ralph is content to do it via several smaller steps.
Hailing from the third generation of the Smiffington family, the apple has fallen very far from the tree; the Smiffington family are renowned wealthy philanthropists, a fact Ralph has despised as he has worked hard to restore the money they frittered away on charity instead of handing it down to him.
Ralph has a complicated history with Detulux Incorporated; while they originally stole something from him, he now spends a considerable amount of time stealing from them.
Ralph has a longtime associate in fellow mad scientist Dr. Ivanovich Gyrode. While Ralph would never admit it, they are really close friends and Ralph is "uncle" to Gyrode's granddaughter Kapitolina Gyrode.