Page Notes
Episode published on Sunday 22nd of November, 2015.
This entire premise of this episode, if it's not apparent, is to send up every enemy facility ever to appear in video games. The owners of these facilities apprently think it is fine to leave medical kits, body armour, loaded guns and (potentially) explosive barrels around the place, much to the benefit of the player character. I dare say that video games would be a lot harder if enemy facilities decided to properly stow away their equipment. To be fair, a lot of games these days rely on regenerating health so concepts like collecting medical kits and armour are considered a bit "old hat".
About halfway through Occupant Sin 4 I was severely tempted to restart Detulux Inc. on the advice of another webcomic creator; I wrote several episodes to set up the premise of the series and this was one of them. Deciding against restarting the comic, this episode made it into the first intermission instead.
If you don't know who Victor Meldrew is, I recommend looking up One Foot in the Grave.
Tagged:
Ben Nevis,
The Captain,
The Detulux Handbook,
H.G. the Hacker Guy,
Location - Detulux HQ,
Location - Paris, France,
Max Valerion,
Reggie the Henchman
Comments
Transcript
Title - 86: "Medkits, Armour and Explosive Barrels, Oh My"
(We look at an open ring-bound book open on a page with annotated pictures of armour and medical kits being stored.)
Narrator: The Detulux handbook on the storage of Detulux property and materials:
Book page: All items pertaining to the health, safety and benefit of the staff are to be kept in their proper places indoors. Facilities have been provided to store items away for convenient access.
(Outside, Pain and the Captain walk along the Detulux compound. The Captain trips over a box. Pain helps him up.)
Pain: You alright there? What on Earth-
(It is revealed that there is a messy pile of medkits and body armour next to some barrels.)
Pain: I don’t believe this.
Captain: (uneasy) Oh right! Sorry, Boss.
(The Captain thinks back. In his thoughts we see him struggling to carry a heavy box of armour and medkits, getting fed up of the weight, throwing a few pieces out on to the floor and then carrying the box further on. The Captain sweats guiltily while remembering this.)
Captain: I’m not sure who keeps leaving all this stuff lying around...
(Pain fumes, staring at a medkit in his hand that he's picked off of the floor.)
Pain: The idiots who look after the storerooms seem to think this is a healthy state of affairs. They have this…compulsion to leave body armour and medical kits laying around on the ground, everywhere.
(The Captain nervously twiddles his index fingers together.)
Captain: Sure. Right. Idiots in the storerooms. Definitely.
(Pain, now in the middle of a rant, gestures angrily to the barrel near them.)
Pain: That’s nothing! Take a look at that! Is that a big barrel of propane?! What’s that doing there!? Why would we need something like that?! It’s just begging to cause an accident!
(The Captain thinks back to having a barbeque in the compound, using the propane to fuel it. He hands a hamburger to a henchman while other henchman chow down and drink beers behind him. Amongst the henchmen, joining in with the jovialities and food, are Ben and H.G. The Captain sweats and nervously fingers his collar.)
Captain: Maybe it’s a joke?
Pain: I’m not laughing. (Walking away) The next thing you know the guys guarding the armoury will be leaving fully-loaded rifles lying around the-
(He accidentally kicks the butt of a rifle that is lying against one of the compound walls.)
Pain: -Okay, that’s just taking the piss.
(Back at the open page of the handbook, we see underneath the entry from the beginning of this episode. There's some writing there in a different, hand-written font.)
Narrator: There’s a hand-written amendment in the handbook:
Book page: If I catch the bastards who keep leaving stuff lying around the base I’m going to skullfu [obscured] using a lead [obscured].
Narrator: …and the rest is unfit to be said.
Episode tagline: If you want to read "I don’t believe this" out loud in your best Victor Meldrew voice, go ahead. I did.
