Page Notes
Episode published on Sunday 7th of January, 2018.
It's always a joy to write for the two doctors. Incidentally, if you want more of their antics, you can see more of their adventures at the Two Doctors webcomic! I have no shame.
Tagged:
The Captain,
Dr. Ivanovich Gregori Romani Gyrode,
Dr. Ralph Smiffington III,
Kunz Cruci Grunveldt,
Location - Consortium Meeting Warehouse,
Max Valerion,
Number Zwei
Comments
Transcript
Title - 123: "The Consortium"
Subtitle - v. "The Two Doctors"
(Pain and the Captain are in the queue for the meeting.)
Captain: What's taking so long?
(Pain places a hand on Grünveldt's right-hand man Number Zwei who is stood in front of him in the queue and attempts to see over him down the line.)
Pain: I think a couple of old queens are holding up the line...
(At the front of the line, Dr. Ralph Smiffington III is yelling at the bald suited henchmen at the lectern with the sign-in book. Dr. Gyrode stands next to him, not impressed and pinching the top of his nose in embarrassment. Doctor Gyrode is a skinny tall man with an impossibly long grey moustache, a long pink nose and round rimless glasses. He has bushy eyebrows and a wild head of hair. He wears a burgundy labcoat and grey trousers.)
Ralph: That's Doctor Ralph Smiffington the Third! That's with two 'f's, not 't-h'! I'll have your job! I don't even want your job but I'll have it!
(Ralph points emphatically at Gyrode.)
Ralph: He'll build a robot to do your job for you!
Gyrode: That sounds like a lot of effort.
(Gyrode leans in towards the henchman, over Ralph who's clinging to the top of the lectern.)
Gyrode: He's like this everywhere we go. I can't take him anywhere.
Henchman: And you are?
(Gyrode bows, giving a big cheshire cat-like grin to the henchman.)
Gyrode: I am the esteemed Dr. Ivanovich Gregori Romani Gyrode, professional mechanologist and long-time associate of my colleague Dr. Smiffington here.
(The henchman smirks.)
Henchman: So, not Dr. Robotnik?
(Gyrode leans in, angered.)
Gyrode: Mock my associate by all means, but think very carefully before trifling with Dr. Gyrode, comrade.
(This threat annoys the henchman.)
Henchman: What are you going to do, old ma-
(With a flick of his wrist Gyrode twists and breaks the henchman's nose with a SNAP. His nose pulverised and bleeding, the henchman concedes and points at the meeting room entrance.)
Henchman: AAACK! D'ooww! Buy dose! Go om din, go om din!
(Gyrode walks past huffily.)
Gyrode: Mudak.
(The henchman places a hand in front of Ralph.)
Henchman: No minions allowed. Sorry, Igor. Your boss will collect you from the-
(Ralph's evil eye spins wildly as he is infuriated.)
Ralph: Igor?! Minion!?! Dr. Ralph Smiffington the Third is no mere minion!
(In one swift motion Ralph opens his labcoat and pulls out a small blue gun. He fires it at the henchman and it launches a rocket-propelled boxing glove into the man's crotch with a FUMPF! The boxing glove features the words "YOU HAVE JUST BEEN GROIN-PUNCHED BY DR. RALPH SMIFFINGTON III, INTERNATIONAL SUPERCRIMINAL". The unfortunate henchman, nose still bleeding from Gyrode's assault, curls up in the foetal position on the floor holding his crotch with both hands.)
Henchman: AGH! BUY BALLS!
(Ralph walks into the meeting. A mafia-type man, now at the front of the queue, leans over the lectern and addresses the henchman now curled up on the floor.)
Mafioso: Erm, excuse me? Are you going to let us in? Or are you just going to lie there?
Henchman: *whimper*
