36: Occupant Sin 4 - xvii. Gone Fishin'

Page Notes

Episode published on Monday 12th of February, 2007.

The villagers in Resident Evil 4 keep a gigantic monster in the nearest lake. They feed it with trespassers and other visitors they receive. This goes unquestioned.

According to in-game files, it was "awoken from its sleep", which implies that it was just kind of sleeping down there waiting for someone to give it a wake-up call. The implications of this are suspect at best, in that RE4 posits that 3-tonne swimming tumours with teeth can exist without marine biologists finding it (or even just Umbrella Corp, seeing that Umbrella did corner the market on impractical bio-mutational warfare).

The monster in the lake was known as Del Lago, which vaguely translates to "Of the Lake". Aside from being a vast plot hole in terms of natural Spanish wildlife, it provides the first boss battle of RE4 with a unique mechanic - rather than run around shooting it, you drive a small motorboat around and can stop to throw harpoons at it. This is more fun than it sounds, and as a fishing mini-game it works better than the Big the Cat sections from Sonic Adventure.

You can die before the boss fight has even started by standing on the dock and shooting into the water, where Del Lago will react to the bullets hitting the water by bursting forth from the lake and eating you with one vast gulp. Terrifying stuff, if you're not expecting it.

Comments

Transcript

Title - 36: "Occupant Sin 4"
Subtitle - xvii. "Gone Fishin' "

(The page starts with a title card for a fake show. Pain is winking with his right hand giving a thumbs up in the direction of the viewer. He is wearing a floppy fisherman's hat, and has a fishing rod resting across his shoulder.)

Title card: Mr. Pain's Guide to Fishing! Six easy steps to success!

(Pain, the Captain and Hayley stand on a small dock next to a brown, muddy lake, looking at the small wooden row boat docked there. It has an outboard motor. The scene is accompanied by a caption.)

Caption: 1 - You'll need a speed boat for this one, and a suitably large lake.

(Each frame is a new scene, representing a new step of the guide. The Captain is in the boat in the middle of the lake, and is fleeing at top speed from a monstrous creature with a vast fanged mouth and tentacles for a tongue.)

Caption: 2 - Take a test spin, just to see what's biting.
Captain: AAAAAAAAGH!
Monster: SCREE!
SFX (motorboat): VRRM

(Hayley turns to Pain, who's scratching his chin at the sight of the monster chasing the Captain.)

Pain: Hmm. We're going to need a bigger boat.

(Next step, the Captain is back on land and is carrying armfuls of harpoons towards the boat. Pain is preparing some rope. In the distance, in the middle of the lake, the monster lurks menacingly.)

Caption: 3 - Find a good length of rope and as many harpoons as you can lay your hands on.

(Next step, harpoons have been tied to the boat and the Captain is affixing one of his UZIs to the front of the boat.)

Caption: 4 - Attach these to the boat at various angles. Embellish with various guns and weaponry.

(Next step, the trio ride in the newly armoured boat and chase after the monster, which now looks visibly distressed as it flees.)

Caption: 5 - Chase down your prey, and mercilessly slaughter it.
Monster: SCREE?!?
Pain: That's right, bitch! You'd better run!

(Final step, the monster is beached with the boat sticking out of its spine. Pain and Hayley stand next to each other in front of it while the Captain takes a picture of them.)

Caption: 6 - Bask in the warmth of a good day's fishing.

(The final panel is an altered version of the poster to the film "Free Willy", but instead of the killer whale, the monster is leaping out of the ocean over the boy.)

Poster: FREE LAGO - How far would you go for LUNCH? A 12-year old kid. A 3-ton monster thing. A dinner date you could never imagine. An adventure you'll never forget.
Caption: Oh yeah. Because you wouldn't go and see it. Honestly. *sighs*

Episode tagline: Boss battle? Or Xtreme fishing? You decide!