Page Notes
Episode published on Saturday 4th of January, 2020.
Happy new year!
The entire reasoning behind Max's cockney accent is Saint's Row 2 (and, by extension, 3 and 4). If you haven't played it, at least watch the Zero Punctuation episode on it.
This episode is a successor to the episode of the same name where Max (formerly Pain) and the Captain encountered everybody's favourite cockney Merchant.
Tagged:
The Captain,
Location - Detulux HQ,
Location - Paris, France,
Max Valerion,
The Merchant
Comments
Transcript
Title - 143: "Chim Chim Cher-oo Two"
(Captain approaches Max's office, looking through some mail. Without looking up he addresses the guards on duty stood outside the office doors, which are closed. It's the usual two guards, one a regular henchman and the other in armour.)
Captain: Mornin', guys.
Guards: Morning, Captain.
Captain: What sort of mood is Mr. Pain in today?
(The guards smirk at each other.)
Guard: Mr. Pain is not here today.
Captain: Where is he then?
Armoured Guard: Well technically he's here, but he doesn't run the company anymore.
(The Captain takes on an expression of annoyed confusion.)
Captain: ...What?
Guard: Our new boss is "Max Valerion".
Captain: Who? Wait...he's changed his name again, hasn't he?
Guard: Yup. Got it in one.
Captain: Anything else different about him?
Armoured Guard: I swear he's slightly more cockney than usual.
Captain: I thought he'd been speaking differently, ever since we got back from Spain!
Guard: It's the full Dick Van Dyke now. Literally, we caught him singing "chim chim cher-oo" earlier.
Captain: Where does he get these ideas...
(The Captain trails off, having a flashback to the cockney Merchant of Spain. He frowns.)
Captain: Pah. As long as it's not Silas Ravenclaw sat behind the desk again, he can speak however he damn well pleases and be whoever he wants to be. Just so long as the cheques get signed by someone.
(He enters Max's office. The newly-named Max Valerion has a glass of whiskey in one hand and gestures to some papers on his desk with the other.)
Max: Alright Captain, me ol' china? Come 'ave a butcher's at this on me desk! Savvy?
(The Captain is nonplussed.)
Captain: You're laying it on a bit thick, Boss.
Max: Fair point I'll dial it back a notch.
