Page Notes
Episode published on Sunday 3rd of April, 2016.
D.P. Slymme is not originally from Detulux Incorporated. He is, in fact, from a completely different series and has since changed his face and name. The same goes for his colleague Moran. If you think you know who D.P. Slymme and his associate Moran really are, leave a comment!
In my head-canon Slymme and Moran have also been in another property under a different guise too, one that (hint) features Stephen Fry...which might partially explain why Slymme looks suspiciously like the national treasure.
My, this sounds awfully complicated and cryptic when what I'm actually trying to say is I ripped off two characters from a completely different property. I came up with the whole "talking in disclaimers" thing myself, though.
Tagged:
The Captain,
D.P. Slymme,
Jim 'Dirty Deeds' Moran,
Location - Detulux HQ,
Location - Paris, France,
Max Valerion,
Sebastian Paine the CEO of Detulux
Comments
Transcript
Title - 95: "An Inspector Calls"
Subtitle - vi. "The Lawyer"
(Pain shakes hands with the man in the green suit from last episode.)
Pain: D.P. Slymme, my favourite shyster! How goes the law firm?
(Slymme has a habit of talking in disclaimers and footnotes, which is denoted by text wrapped in square brackets in a monospace font.)
Slymme: Mr. Pain, my favourite customer. Crime is on the rise, which fortunately means I have a lot of prospective customers who need defence from the law punishing them [for doing the things they actually did].
(Pain looks around.)
Pain: Where's your colleague, Mr. Moran?
Slymme: Jim "Knees" Moran is otherwise detained. I won't bore you with the details, but he's having a quiet word with a key witness in our current case.
(Meanwhile, elsewhere, a dishevelled man with a scar over one eye, a leather jacket and snakeskin-patterned trousers pours a tank of petrol over a worried-looking man in a suit who is bound and gagged to a chair.)
Moran: Gosh! This is awfully good fun! Isn't it, chum?
(Back at Detulux, Pain looks gravely at his lawyer.)
Pain: What are we looking at here, Slymme?
Slymme: Inspector Russo filed a warrant to search the entire premises. Fortunately, I am a very good [and expensive] lawyer and, as such, his warrant has been diminished to this meagre list of buildings.
(Slymme removes a sheet of paper from his jacket and hands it to Pain. Pain looks through the list as the Captain approaches.)
Pain: Good...good...I think we can work with this.
(Pain hands the list to the Captain.)
Pain: You know what to do, Captain, take this list and get to it!
Captain: Sure thing.
(The Captain runs off, yelling over his shoulder as he leaves.)
Captain: The Inspector and his escort party are in the lobby!
(Pain and Slymme walk towards the main building. It begins to rain.)
Slymme: You're not going to attempt that bloody awful Southern American accent again, are you?
Paine: Heyyy! Ah do declare, mah Southern drawl is spot on!
Slymme: One can only hope that the Inspector has never heard an actual American speak before...
Episode tagline: It takes a special talent to talk in footnotes and square brackets. Hey, wait a minute...you know, I don't think that Moran guy wanted a "quiet chat" at all!
