Page Notes
Episode published on Sunday 8th of November, 2015.
If anything this just goes to show why you really shouldn't watch NSFW material while at work. I guess it's a bit more difficult to do that if you practically live at work like H.G. here, but still.
Tagged:
H.G. the Hacker Guy,
Location - Detulux HQ,
Location - Paris, France,
Max Valerion,
What H.G. gets up to in his spare time
Comments
Transcript
Title - 84: "To Fix the Plumbing, He Came (Emphasis on the Last Bit)"
(A busty woman in a especially tight nightie sits up in bed. Her hair is in curlers but she’s clearly wearing heavy makeup. He hand is resting on her cheek, the woman dismayed.)
Woman: Oh, I was about to get up but there’s this strange man in my bed.
(Revealed to be slightly to the right of her is a man in overalls. He is lying seductively next to her, his top button undone to reveal a very hairy chest.)
Man: I’ve come to fix the plumbing.
(The two start having sexual intercourse under the duvet, we are unable to see anything lewd.)
SFX (musical sting): BOWM CHIKKA WOWM WOWMN
(The next scene is in the woman's kitchen. She’s still wearing her nightie but now her hair is down as well. She poses with a finger poised by her mouth, looking confused.)
Woman: Oh, I was about to fix myself a late-night snack and there’s a strange man in my kitchen.
(Revealed is the same man as before, but this time he's flexing next to the counter. He grins at the woman.)
Man: I’ve come to fix the boiler.
(They start making out against the kitchen counters, the man having removed the top half of his overalls to reveal his muscular physique. He lifts the woman onto the counter.)
SFX (musical sting): WOWMN WOWMN CHIKKA
(The next scene takes place in the same kitchen. The woman is now fully clothed, albeit this time in a tight tube-top and denim mini-skirt. She holds a packet of bread and a butter knife up as she shrugs for the camera.)
Woman: Oh, I was about to make a sandwich and there’s a strange man in my fridge.
(Sat in the open fridge is the man, this time in jeans and a t-shirt, grasping a pool cleaning net. He's still grinning at the woman.)
Man: I’ve come to clean the pool.
(The woman sits on the countertop and is promptly humped by the fridge.)
SFX (music sting): BOWMN WOWMN
(Stepping back, the whole episode so far is revealed to be a pornographical video someone was watching on their computer. The camera now sits over the shoulder of the dirty-blonde man in the tropical shirt from the title card for the interlude. This is H.G., the "Hacker Guy".)
SFX (porn video): CHIKKA CHIKKA CLUNK CLANK OH YEAAHHH
(We see from behind the computer now, facing H.G. Severs are situated behind him, along with a weirded out Pain, who’s been watching over HG’s shoulder the whole time. H.G. doesn’t realise his boss is there until Pain starts speaking, causing H.G. to flinch, ducking under his own arms with his eyes tightly shut as if deflecting from an expected physical blow.)
Pain: This is the worst porno ever.
H.G.: AGH! IT’S NOTHING MA I SWEAR!
Episode tagline: Writing the script for this episode is possibly the only time I will ever get to write the words "she is humped by the fridge" in any context.
